Blogging Outloud

Tonight in class we received index cards in a random order. On each card were the details of some of the soldiers, from the 5th NH Volunteer Infantry, who fought in the 2^nd Battle of Gettysburg. Our professor, Christopher Benedetto, is an active member of the current manifestation of this organization, whose mission is no longer the defense of the country but rather historical preservation and educational purposes. Tonight Prof. Benedetto, would help us to put a human face on the Civil War.

Prof. Benedetto came to class in his uniform. He explained that the long overcoat, made of wool and the grey wool pants were considered his “dress uniform.” He then proceeded to explain each piece of equipment as he put it on.

On the table he set his haversack and bedroll. He also had some modern examples of hardtack, the staple of the Civil War soldier on the march. It was a dense biscuit that was not particularly flavorful. He also had his boiler, (a small metal coffee pot,) a tin cup and other personal items in his pack.

As he continued he explained how he acquired his equipment. The glasses he wore were antique frames that he had re-fashioned with his prescription. Even his shoes were worn, from use, as a soldier from this time period would have experienced. Below you can see the heel plate, a small horse shoe shaped piece of metal attached to the heel to help reduce wear and tear.

To close the class we turned to the cards we were handed. Slowly we took our turn reading aloud the information contained on our cards. We read the names of the soldiers, their town of origin, their rank at the time of the battle and their disposition at the end of the battle. As you may imagine many did not survive to see another battle. This somber exercise helped us humanize the loss experienced.

So, a few months ago I was touting the benefits of Twittering.   The biggest benefit I found was using Twitter as a tool for professional development.  Well now that the semester has ended and I have a little more time on my hands, I logged into my Twitter account.  There has been so much going on in the Twit -world that it is hard to keep up.  Not too long ago, this little gem came across my feed, blog.kathyschrock.net/2010_06_01_archive.html

It is a simple blog on how to manage twitter for professional use, (this person is an educator and as such her blog refers to education related applications.)  And just because Education is part of my degree program here at Granite State College,  here is a more recent update for using Twitter in the classroom:  linkyy.com/twitter

Both of these links came through my Twitter account, along with many more tid bits.


I hope you can give it a try!!
 

        When I start these things I never quite know where it will end up.  Except that today I am writing about being grateful. This will not be an exhaustive list but it will cover what I need it to cover.  

     Our warm, comfortable home, sustenance, the love and support of my friends and family, and our continued good health and good fortune top my list of things I am grateful to have.  These are the physical and emotional necessities  that have sustain me throughout the years.  Because of these I am now aware of another necessity that has arisen for me; and that is the ability to express my gratitude for the gift of my voice.

     And for clarification point, I do not mean the literal sound and tone which I emanate, though that is a  well honed skill which may show up in another blog.  I mean that which is the repository of my thoughts, conclusions, notions, inklings and such.     

     I am not sure when the realization for this need arose, but recently I have found myself, on more than one occasion, reflecting upon being grateful for my voice. Where did this voice come from?  

     Inside me it is steady and clear.  From it I derive comfort knowing it will not fail me.  This surety has not always been present.  It has taken time and patience to nurture.  (I can see the passing time as I have eyes and can read the calendar.)  But where did the patience come from?!!

    Granite State College has become a part of this process for me also.  Taking the steps to craft my thoughts into cohesive arguments has exercised my thinking to levels I would not have thought possible.  From Science, to Psychology, to History I am constantly challenged in discussions with my college peers to be thoughtful and attach meaning to what I am encountering in my studies.  And from this I am grateful in knowing what I know is as important as what I am learning. 

Dinner tonight is in the car.  It consists of a cold egg roll, black coffee, and a bag of cookies from the vending machine.  

My day started at 5:15AM, and that’s because I don’t want it to start at 5:00AM.  I throw coffee down my throat, shower, dress and head out the door by 6:30AM, (earlier if there’s weather).  I have breakfast and lunch in my shoulder bag as well as my text book and notes that I will need for my class tonight.  If all goes well I will have an hour and a half between work and my class. I'll be tidying up my homework during this time. 

I work a full day and head home to find the trash needing to be emptied, the laundry basket overflowing, and the dishwasher needing to be emptied.  I check the mail (mortgage is due this week), and discover that I neglected to call the doctor to have my prescription refilled.  My well laid plans are interrupted by the needs of my household.  I grab dinner and head out again.  It is a bit earlier than I would have liked but at least I will have some time to review my notes in class and let the egg roll settle.  I think I need some floss too. 

When I arrive at Granite State College I see a number of my class mates sitting in the lobby.  I nod a greeting to folks as I pass by and I hear, "Don't go in there!  You can't go in there yet since the previous class is still in there."  In my head I am grumbling, (something like I heard on the early Saturday morning cartoons of my youth when the villain was thwarted in their endeavors) through my smile. 

The professor makes the necessary apologies as we are let into our classroom and settle down.  After the last video we stayed over a half hour beyond our normal ending time, discussing the elements we encountered, comparing them to the points made earlier in the night by the professor and each other.  The night's topic is highly engaging and elicits spirited discussions.  It is a perfect ending to a rather imperfect day.

Sometimes I need to change.  It is not always easy to recognize when I do though.  Changing the wardrobe is easy--it goes with the task or seasons.  Changing my thinking is different.  It requires me to have conflict, (either within myself or with someone else.)  Conflicts by their very nature are not comfortable, so the discomfort then becomes the catalyst for the change to occur.

My most recent discomfort came from work.  My performance was not in question.  I would even go as far to say that my boss was "pleased as punch" with my performance.   I had attained the highest level of growth in my position, and yet, that realization was neither a moment of pride or accomplishment.  Sitting with that realization is a process within itself and I will spare you the ugly details.  Needless to say it would not be too much longer before I finally made the connection that I needed to change.

Going back to college was the way I chose to manage, and thus alleviate my discomfort.  It has been an interesting time as I again try to juggle work and college classes.  Sometimes when I find myself up earlier than the alarm clock, worrying or planning a writing an assignment, I invariably ask myself, 'Is this worth the effort?'  And I still answer myself with a resounding 'Yes.'

The logistics of college were surprisingly easy with the help from the staff at Granite State College.  They are knowledgeable in adult education resources, (which means the have seen it or done it all) and they are always ready to help.  Combining the availability of online classes for adults and accelerated studies, choosing Granite State College was a smart choice. 

The changes I chose to make have made a world of difference in my outlook as well as my performance.   My inner conflict is now beginning to resolve itself.  Pride in my accomplishments are once again my motivators.   What's yours?

It was the kind of night where you would put on a sweater before turning the heat up any further.  The fire was low, yet it did the trick in taking the chill out of the October air.  A thin film of smoke hung lightly in the room.  It reminded me of how much I enjoyed the sweet smell of hard wood burning. Three torchieres were positioned in the the corners of the room and their light was dim.  I was aware of the size of the room and how much light was being given off by each lamp. There were five windows with elaborate built-in seating for each one, though one window had been boarded up with paneling that matched the rest of the decor; an obvious correction to the original structure when an addition was put on. The panels on the wall as well as the boards on the floor were a soft white pine (from the colonial New England forestry trade); wide and stripped of any finish. Each board had to measure 18-24 inches across. The paneling on the walls were hand hewn raised panels with mortis and tenon joinery.  The windows themselves were double sashed and multi-paned, which was typical for the style of the architecture and a hallmark of the colonial times. The wavy glass added to the mystery of the surroundings. 

As I waited for our class to begin my mind wandered. I wondered what would it have been like to be far away from my native home and brought into the wilderness of New England in 1701. That was just 9 years after the Salem Witch Trials happened in neighboring Massachusetts. Would I have been an accuser, or an accused participant? Would I be able to survive in this environment without indoor plumbing or central heating?

Our class began the same way it had every other night except this time the visual aid was not a power point presentation, video, or replicated document. We were enveloped by the actual artifact of history. We could touch, feel, see and smell the essence of the time period we were studying and learning about. I can't fully explain the heightened sense of learning I have regrding our Granite State College class inside the Colonel Paul Wentworth House, but it was truly an amazing experience, one that will remain with me for quite some time. 

Every Thursday night she came to her evening college classes.  We would talk a little bit, usually after class or during the breaks.  She drives from Farmington to the Portsmouth NH university campus, which is about 30 miles one way.    Now it's the end of the term.  Tonight she told me how she does it.  She started by saying she had baked stuffed haddock for dinner.  I looked at her and said,

"You made baked stuffed haddock before you came to class tonight?!"

" No, I went out with my friend."

"Nice."

"Yeah, this is my time.  I arranged with the place where I volunteer to leave early on Thursday afternoon. While my brother comes by to watch the kids, I can do some studying.  Then my friend and I go out to dinner." 

I could not help myself. I smiled as she told her story.  She then gave a little, unapologetic shrug, smiled back and continued, "This is my time."

There it was the Granite State College marketing tagline: It's your turn!  The motto that says after you work to impress the world come to GSC to do something just for yourself.  Adult learners are goal oriented and come to higher education for a variety of reasons.  Yet here is a woman, a mother of three, who has chosen to honor herself with an education.  She carved out time, (which as we all know is a precious commodity,) to create a space for herself.  She has included her family and friends in that plan too. This says to me that her designs are more than mere career advancement.  It's just like the sign says.  I couldn't make this stuff up-- it really happens.

The first step is the hardest -- but once it is done nothing seems as hard again. When my sister was 12 years old, the last thing she wanted was to have her little sister tagging along with her. So when she and her friends had made the plan to walk across the salt marsh down the street from our house, they thought I wouldn’t do it. Little did they know that I would go anywhere my big sister went. Not out of spite, but out of an adoration that only siblings know. She let me come along but admonished me to keep up. 

The sun was low in the sky and the wind had picked up some. Her friends chided me when I was not able to leap over the inlets of water as easily as they had. Instead I fell in and got my new sneakers wet and muddy. My sister had to help me out of the mess. I began to feel like the whole idea was bad and that I would get in trouble now for sure. Her friends ran ahead. I began to cry; I just needed to go back to the other side. My sister told me to look up and see where we were, because the hardest part was behind us and all that was left were the tall grassy knolls. She laughed and said, “We are in the middle. If we go back we will have to do all the hard stuff again.” She took my hand and we both took off running through the tall grass to the other side where her friends were waiting.

Recently I have been thinking of this scenario as I am nearing completion of my degree program. The first step of the process was the hardest. Like crossing the salt marsh with my sister, making that decision to go back to college was a commitment I could not make on my own. I made it with my family and with the staff at Granite State College . It may sound silly but they need to know where I am in my process and when I need their help. Granite State College offers affordable college study, adult education courses and a helping hand when you need it. They really understand the complex needs of adult learners.

It's getting close to the end of another term and I still have six classes to go. It seems like I am still a long way out from graduating. But when I look back at what I have done here at GSC, those six classes don't look so far away anymore.