In my head I have a VERY dramatic life. And though it may be troublesome for folks to know this factoid about me, you also need to understand, I crack myself up. It happens most often when I am driving in my car. I begin by trying to "noodle-out" an issue I am having and before I know it I am laughing out loud at the ridiculous turns my mind has taken. (In case you are wondering it doesn't matter whether I have passengers in the car or not. Though my family has gotten used to me, there is always a bit of awkwardness when having to explain my giggling to a new passenger in the car with me.)
We weren't "rich" by any means. We had enough to pay our bills and put a little bit away for the proverbial rainy day. At times I worked a second job so we could save a little more for some of the extras. When I made the decision to go back to school I sought the support of my family. Everyone was terrific. My daughter and sons had moved out and were living their own lives, so they did not need daily mothering. My partner of 13 years was excited that I was doing something solely for myself. The funny thing here is that it is easy to tell someone 'Go for it,' but it is another thing to be the person doing the going.
We sat down and figured out the finances. That was the biggest consideration I thought, but I was scared. To help myself get through that feeling I began to daydream a little. Visualizing the scene;
"No we can't do this without you here. Don't leave us alone, by ourselves," and maybe there would be a little bit of a scene -- some tears, falling on the floor, a little begging. I of course would then turn to my family and say some George Patton-ish inspirational thing, (sort of like his "Americans-love-a-winner-Americans-will-not-tolerate-a-loser," speech on the eve of the Allied invasion of France in 1944, with a pinch of martyrdom added in;) throwing the back of my hand to my forehead I would exclaim,
"Step aside, after all I'm doing this for you too."
You get the picture. Fear kept me from pursuing my college degree, and I have learned when I can laugh at myself those fears do not seem as big an obstacle as they once were. It then frees me to make choices that support my goals. Choosing Granite State College, has also helped minimize my fears. I do not ALWAYS have to be out of the house taking classes, GSC offers itself as one of New Hampshire's premier, Online State Colleges, that means it offers Affordable Continuing Education close to home, (and in some cases right in my home!) Check off my two biggest fears; money and location!
We weren't "rich" by any means. We had enough to pay our bills and put a little bit away for the proverbial rainy day. At times I worked a second job so we could save a little more for some of the extras. When I made the decision to go back to school I sought the support of my family. Everyone was terrific. My daughter and sons had moved out and were living their own lives, so they did not need daily mothering. My partner of 13 years was excited that I was doing something solely for myself. The funny thing here is that it is easy to tell someone 'Go for it,' but it is another thing to be the person doing the going.
We sat down and figured out the finances. That was the biggest consideration I thought, but I was scared. To help myself get through that feeling I began to daydream a little. Visualizing the scene;
Me worried -- having to choose a direction that would purposely take me out of the home on a regular basis.
Cue dramatic music now.
Voice-over cuts in: 'What would happen if I wasn't home; would the laundry get done; would dinner get cooked; who will weed the garden?'
For me to choose college would mean my family would have to get along with out me. OK, the truth is, in the back of my head I wanted someone to say,Cue dramatic music now.
Voice-over cuts in: 'What would happen if I wasn't home; would the laundry get done; would dinner get cooked; who will weed the garden?'
"No we can't do this without you here. Don't leave us alone, by ourselves," and maybe there would be a little bit of a scene -- some tears, falling on the floor, a little begging. I of course would then turn to my family and say some George Patton-ish inspirational thing, (sort of like his "Americans-love-a-winner-Americans-will-not-tolerate-a-loser," speech on the eve of the Allied invasion of France in 1944, with a pinch of martyrdom added in;) throwing the back of my hand to my forehead I would exclaim,
"Step aside, after all I'm doing this for you too."
You get the picture. Fear kept me from pursuing my college degree, and I have learned when I can laugh at myself those fears do not seem as big an obstacle as they once were. It then frees me to make choices that support my goals. Choosing Granite State College, has also helped minimize my fears. I do not ALWAYS have to be out of the house taking classes, GSC offers itself as one of New Hampshire's premier, Online State Colleges, that means it offers Affordable Continuing Education close to home, (and in some cases right in my home!) Check off my two biggest fears; money and location!
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